He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
