it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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