Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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