at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
