Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
