it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
