shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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