You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh god the rape fog is back!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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