She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
