She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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