he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
