That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
