Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
