i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
