Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
NoShamevember. You game?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
