Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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