"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
