i think i have herpe
just one?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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