it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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