Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
