How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
