Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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