oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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