I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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