He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
this hospital has no fireball
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
