His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
