Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
