We named our party play list daddy issues
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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