The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
