my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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