i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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