She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
