My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
