have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
