I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
