what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
