oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
