so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
