I want to have your abortion
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
