this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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