Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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