You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
