Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
