she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
