im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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