there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
