The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
