Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
