Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
