We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
