i need an iv and a liver transplant
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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