trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
