Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
