After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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