Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
